I'm going to the pictures!
Ok... not this week, I don't have any spare time this week, but next week I shall indeed be off to the pictures to see The Perks of Being a Wallflower
I am generally rubbish at films as I am overly picky about what I watch on the big screen, as I am a fiddler. Sitting still is not something which I do well. The last few films I really enjoyed were viewed at the Everyman in Hampstead, in fact I can recall my favourite experience... Going to see Midnight in Paris, then strolling around Hampstead in the rain at midnight because it felt like the perfect way to end the evening, holding hands and getting lost in a lovely little world. The man that was with moved oversees the following week. My life always seems to have a little beauty with every bit of sadness at least!
So, this wallflower film got me thinking of high school... Something I generally try and avoid thinking about. Being from a small ex mining town, my school was relatively small, and did carry a good handful of small minded folk too! At about thirteen, I came up with this brilliant idea, one which I would say a good half of teenagers do too, and that was to be different. I achieved that pretty well. I dyed my strawberry blonde locks black, started spending all of my time discovering music and sewing. Oh I looked an absolute bugger, I don't need anyone to tell me that, and in trying to be a "wallflower" I drew all the more attention to myself which probably was a very daft idea.
The thing is, looking back, I am so proud of myself. I spent all my lunch breaks in upper school hiding out in the textile studios messing about with machine embroidery, batik, basic print... Whatever I could get my hands on. I could not afford the clothes I craved on my allowance, so I made and customised my own. At sixteen I decided to sod A Levels and go to Art College where I met amazing people and finally got to be myself. Two years later at barely eighteen I left Yorkshire and moved to London. Things got pretty fun then, and all that creativity which I was drowning in is now a blessing.
High school wasn't fun. But it made me who I am. If I could tell me thirteen your old self something it would be to embrace everything you are, and don't worry about what you're not. That and maybe not black hair dye, dark auburn will do just fine.